My Life

My hands are frozen, my new shoes are thrashed, I waited in the cold for 2 hours to find out I wasn't needed.. Now I'm in a cab headed down the Embarcadero and the cab driver has both front windows down.. I've been in it for 5 minutes and already owe $11 but through all of this, the only reoccurring thought going through my mind is, "I'm so blessed." Even though today wasn't what I expected, even though my new cute pumas are turning brown from the wet grass I walked through, even though my hands are just now beginning to defrost, even though my short cab ride will cost more than 4 fast food meals, I am blessed. I'm in SF with an America's Cup jacket on. I'm living an amazing life, i'm living my life!

Don't confuse aloneness with lonlieness.

This was said to all of the young adults at the last YSA conference. It definitely caught all of my attention. Too often are we guilty of doing this.. Confusing aloneness with lonliness. For instance, right now I am single. Single. SINGLE! Yes I'm excited about it, but there are times, like today, right now actually, where I feel lonley. Then this quote popped in my head and I asked myself, "Gina are you lonely, or alone." The obvious answer is, alone, but I'm not so alone! I have a life filled with amazing people. I am almost always surrounded by my family and very often surrounded by my dear friends.. yet still, a part of me feels alone.

 I am in a very akward, different, frightening yet exciting stage in my life. I am a young, (23 to be exact) LDS woman. Who has graduated from college, who is interning & working, who is living in SSF and pursuing my dream of being a model. This is exactly where I invisioned myself being 10 years ago but cannot figure out why, amongst all of this.. I feel a sense of emptiness. Why with all of this excitement do I feel alone?

I guess the obvious answer to my dilemma is that I am single. Single. SINGLE. As great as it is for me to be single right now.. the next step for me in my life is marriage. This is why this sense of aloneness gets to me at times. This is why I overwhelm myself with the thought of being lonely. I tell myself often that it's ok to be picky, it's ok to pick and choose and it's ok to be alone until the right one comes along. I know all of these things to be true, but I forget at times, like today, like right now..

Some times I just need the reminder that I am not married right now for a reason and my strippling warrior is not ready for me yet. Yes Gina, that's all... so be patient. HOLD STRONG.. he will come along <3

We write to taste life twice.

Lately I've had a lot of interesting experiences. Experiences which have already begun to change my life. Experiences that have given me nothing more than an overwhelming feeling of happiness. Happy that change is taking place in my life, happy that things are falling in to place and most importantly, happy that I am blessed enough to feel my Heavenly Father's love. Yes, I've felt this my entire life, but not more than I do right now. It's awkward for me to have serious conversations with people about these types of feelings because no one quite understands how I feel like I do.. So I've decided to write it all down. To in other words, spill my heart in words.